NO HOLDING BACK

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Happy 2010!! Complete Craziness! I can’t believe that we’ve entered another decade!! It's unreal how time flies and unreal how fast this week went by. This past week I was off from work (Yee Haw) not that I didn't need the money lol, but I needed the time. The time to do the last minute things that would "tie up" 2009. I wanted to kinda clean up some things in my life in order to start 2010 out with a positive BANG!! I also needed to clean my living room. It was getting cluttered with things from the past. Things that during the year I didn't have the time or the energy to open and get rid of; yes I’m lazy sometimes. And there's some really good (and really bad) tv that needs to be watched!!! As I started my big cleanup, I was thinking that I might need to be on an episode of "Hoarders"; thankfully it wasn't that bad. Although I did find a bill for my car insurance (just a few days late, no worries, I paid it and I'm still insured)! I also found a few unopened Christmas cards from 2007, yep you read it right, 2007. I felt awful!!!! I don't know what I was thinking. How much freakin’ energy does it take to open a card?? I also cleaned out my AOL mailbox because during the last few months I’ve gotten multiple texts from people telling me that my mailbox is full. Basically you get enough space for 1000 emails. Really? And my mailbox was full? Um, I’m not that important (well not yet) that I should have 1000 emails. That’s because I save EVERYTHING!!! "Oh, I’ll respond to this email later. Oh, this is pretty good info, I’ll read that one day. Oh, this seems like a cool place to go to, I’ll go there one day." I save it all (I have the same mentality with my clothes, I got a closet full of clothes that I might need one day). Then I never look at them again and you guessed it: MAILBOX FULL!! (And my closet's throwing up!) So it kinda got me thinking about things that we hold onto that we don't need anymore and why we do it? I guess that’s what the New Year brings...fresh starts. You get to wipe the slate clean and start a brand new year. It’s exciting because there's all this hope for the next twelve months and the greatness that could be in our lives.

I also read online at: http://www.first30days.com/ about making fresh starts. World-renowned physician and mind-body expert, David Simon, M.D., co-founder of the Chopra Center, says to start by asking yourself two questions:

1. What am I carrying with me from my past that’s no longer serving me in my present? Take the steps, whatever you need to do, to release that misunderstanding, misbelief or negative self-messaging.



2. What am I holding myself back from, that if I allowed myself to ingest it, would bring me to a higher level of well-being?

Really good questions to think about. For me, I think that there's big part of me that still feels like an awkward, big haired, big glasses wearing, clumsy and self-conscience fourteen year old girl and guess what, I'm not that girl anymore...Lord knows I ain't a teenager anymore either (even though I did get carded buying a scratch off this week, score!) And although, I'm still really clumsy and sometimes awkward as hell (just part of my charm, lol), I'm not that girl anymore. I need to let her go!! I also need to stop saying negative things about myself. I don't know why we do that. Sometimes I think I do it to make a joke about stuff and make people laugh but sometimes I think I really feel that way about myself. We need to focus on the good stuff that we bring to the table. When I'm negative about myself I hold myself back from all that I could be. You do too!

And this week, I sent a few New Year's texts to some friends at midnight and I got some great ones back. One was from one of my best friends Patrice and she wrote to me, "Happy New Year, No Holding Back". I had forgotten about it because well it was New Years Eve and the drinks were flowing lol. But I just reread my texts again now to delete some, because yep, I save my texts, (seriously there must be a name for the condition I have, aside from just being called crazy) but seeing it again just now put things into focus and it made me realize that this is my mantra for 2010: NO HOLDING BACK!!!



Because how can you regret anything when you put everything you have into what you want?! Maybe you don't get exactly what you want but you'll get what's the best for you. Maybe I won't get a lead role in a movie opposite George Clooney (I heart him!) this year, but if I put everything I have into getting there and I don't hold anything back, I'll get a role in something, and now I'm on my way to my movie with George. Hey, maybe this year I'll star in a movie with Matt Damon instead, he's no Clooney but I'll take it!! :)



So here's to a fabulous year of "No Holding Back"! Wishing you the best 2010 filled with health, wealth, success, love, laughter and joy!! Happy New Year!! I'll clean out my closet this year too!



-RoxyStrago :)