all limitations are self-imposed

Happy Fall!! Happy new season! Perhaps it can be seen as a happy new beginning? I'll be honest, I'm surprised I remembered my password (well it took me about five minutes) because its been quite awhile since I actually sat down to write my thoughts for the good old blog world. But let's not dwell on the negative, THE BLOG IS BACK, so let's move forward shall we? Because I've started running!! Yep, you read that correctly, I started running!! Always wanted to be "runner", never thought I could.

Okay, okay, let's not kid ourselves, I've been jogging for a few minutes but I've started a program where you add on to the amount of time you run each week until you get to the 9th week when you are hopefully jogging/running for thirty minutes straight (not sure what happens after that, but I don't want to get too ahead of myself, since I just finished week 2). I then decided I would post my distance and times on my facebook page to continue to motivate myself, and I got some mixed reviews (including a few comments, that were supposedly written for "encouragement" but to me, were anything but). And I started to feel bad about myself and embarrassed about my time, and then stupid for posting it at all.

But then I started to get some really supportive comments. Like the one from my dear friend Ashley who said "don't listen to them Jean Ann!! Everyone started from somewhere. I started running at age 30 and it took me three weeks to be able to run a mile straight. And you know I just completed my first Olympic Triathlon this year!! My run pace, after swimming a mile and biking 25, was about a 10 minute mile, for six miles. Just go girl!!" And Pete, an old friend from high school who reminded me to not "listen to anyone giving you crap about time / distance. You're not running a race against them. Start small, listen to your body and keep at it. Looking forward to seeing more updates! :)"
Thank God for supportive people!

I know it won't happen in a week, which is why I'm starting out small and adding on each week. And as I was jogging along at my (very) slow pace it hit me, the idea that I wasn't a runner came from me and I'm the only one who can change that. And if I can do this, I can change anything else that I didn't think I was, or could be, or could do! What I think about running is a metaphor for all the other limitations that I have placed upon myself. The fact that I think I'm not pretty enough to be on TV/film, or that I don't have the vocal range to be on Broadway or any other negative thought that has jumped from my mind, crossed into my real life and thus has affected my career in a less than positive way came from me. And since I was the one who placed these things out there, I'm the only one that can change them!! Just like running, I'll have to start small, but I believe I'll do it!

I'll leave you with a video that another high school friend/runner, Suzanne, posted on her Facebook page that was so inspiring (God what did we do before you FB?)! I think it's not only about running but about doing anything that you've wanted to do but have let your limiting beliefs about yourself stop you. So what do you want to do? Decide and then take Ashley's advice and "Just go girl" or boy!! Just do it! :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbXgQqbOoU&feature=player_embedded

DO IT!!!!!

So another birthday has come and gone and I don't feel a day over 18, ok 21. I had a great time celebrating but I had a really rough night before my birthday. I know that I have a wonderful life and I'm right where I should be (yadda, yadda, yadda), but that doesn't mean that I still don't have to look dissappointment in the eye and face it head on. Something silly happened (silly like getting snubbed by a dumb boy) but it hit me at the wrong time and I felt old and ugly and sad and well, dissappointed. Awww, feel bad for me, cause I certainly did!! ;)

Then I woke up on friday and it was MY DAY, yay (yes, I'm a baby) lol. I ate a bagel, cause it's my birthday, so kiss my ass, diet! And as I read through the paper, I got to the horoscopes. I don't remember what the horoscope was for that day but The Post (ya, I read The Post, they gots the good gossip) gives you an extra horoscope on your birthday. This is what my (along with fellow Strong Islander Lindsay Lohan's) bday horoscope was:

Are you kidding me?? Dear horoscope writer, did you write this just for me? Cause wow, I NEEDED to hear that. My whole perspective changed in a moment!! And you wanna know what my dream was when I was little? I wanted to be a singer! And so you know what I'm gonna focus on? That's right...SINGING (you are brillant, dear readers)!! I've been told before that I should be focusing on singing but I guess I just didn't know where I fit in with it. Pop music is a youth game (I lost out on my chance around the tender age of 26, which isn't really that long ago (I might add lol) and I don't have the belt that they want for Broadway. But I do have a voice and its a damn good one. So even though I don't know where I fit in, I will sing and I will see where that takes me, because singing (and music) brings me joy!!

What did you want to be when you were little? What did you love? What DO you love? Figure it out and then DO IT!!! Even if it's for just a moment, or as a hobby, just do it!! Joy is an amazing thing, and joy brings more joy. Who knows where your joy will take you! Wherever it is, I hope it is magical!!

-RS