Sunday, July 11, 2010


Ever wonder why you are here? Like, what's your purpose? I started writing this post on July 11th and now its August 9th. So apparently publishing this post isn't one of mine. I kid of course. I'm not sure why I could never press the "PUBLISH POST" button but its almost been a month and I just haven't done it. Sure I've been busy but I've actually sat down to write and edit this thing and it never felt worthy (not sure its there yet, but I can't keep sitting on it. It needs to get out.) Maybe because its pretty personal to me. I didn't think I was afraid to publish it but maybe I was. When you write about yourself, you put it out there and that can lead to criticisms (something most of us don't really enjoy). Maybe I didn't think the conclusion was good enough. I'll explain later**. defines it as "the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc." '' you say. I know, I know, but hey, they had the best definition! "Why am I here"? Its a pretty good question. We've all gotta be here for a reason right? I've been thinking about it, I guess in part because my birthday passed recently (well at this point, its been over a month, but like I said I started writing this in the beginning of July). Birthdays can bring alot of feelings to the surface. They can make you think about your life and what you are doing with it, and what you have done with it, and what you are going to (or should) do with it.

Sometimes we are all so busy and have soo much on our plates, juggling millions of things at once (ask for the definition of multi-taskers and our entire society would appear) it can be difficult to remember or fully see what we should be doing (and by that I mean, what we should be doing for our own selves). I know I get overwhelmed sometimes with all I have to do: a day job, classes, the other job trying to make my dreams of being a full time performer a reality, writing this blog occasionally, all the while trying to have some semblance of a social life and to have a little fun. And it gets hard for me to just focus on one thing and give it 100% so that I can actually get something accomplished. Sometimes with all the everyday things we NEED to do in life, we forget why we are really here. So I'm gonna ask the question, what the hell is my purpose? Feel free to offer your suggestions and get back to me! ;)

I was actually a little surprised that I still needed to clarify it, if not figure it out all together, because I've always thought I knew what I was supposed to be doing since I was a little kid. I guess when you aren't automatically a 'success' at it (whatever that means to you), you start to second guess it. Am I doing the wrong thing? Wasting my time? Maybe it would help to construct a bit of a mission statement, to help shed some light on it or to simplify it so that its more easily attainable.

So I decided to do a little experiment. Its called "The Life Purpose Exercise" by Arnold M. Patent, who is a spiritual coach and author.


1. List two of your unique personal qualities, such as enthusiasm and

_____________________________ _____________________________

2. List one or two ways you enjoy expressing those qualities when interacting
with others, such as to support and to inspire.

_____________________________ _____________________________

3. Assume the world is perfect right now. What does this world look like? How
is everyone interacting with everyone else? What does it feel like? Write your
answer as a statement, in the present tense, describing the ultimate
condition, the perfect world as you see it and feel it. Remember, a perfect
world is a fun place to be.

EXAMPLE: Everyone is freely expressing
their own unique talents. Everyone is working in harmony.
Everyone is expressing love.


4. Combine the three prior subdivisions of this paragraph into a single

EXAMPLE: My purpose is to use my creatively and enthusiasm
to support and inspire other to freely express their talents in
a harmonious and loving way.


So whatcha get?? I'm so curious! Well quite frankly I'm nosey. I get it from my mom, well I'm totally blaming it on her anyway (why not?)! Here's what I came up with...

My Purpose is to use my humor and compassion to entertain and inspire people to be who they are in a loving and joyful way!

Great. I got it all figured out now! So what the hell do I do now? (to be continued throughout my life I guess...)

**And maybe I was nervous to put this out there because to sum up your purpose in one sentence can seem almost trivial, or maybe its because I feel people would judge what I came up with, or maybe I was scared because putting it out there meant that I need to actually start living my purpose fully. And being who you truly are is a big responsibility.

Monday, July 5, 2010

DO IT!!!!!

So another birthday has come and gone and I don't feel a day over 18, ok 21. I had a great time celebrating but I had a really rough night before my birthday. I know that I have a wonderful life and I'm right where I should be (yadda, yadda, yadda), but that doesn't mean that I still don't have to look dissappointment in the eye and face it head on. Something silly happened (silly like getting snubbed by a dumb boy) but it hit me at the wrong time and I felt old and ugly and sad and well, dissappointed. Awww, feel bad for me, cause I certainly did!! ;)

Then I woke up on friday and it was MY DAY, yay (yes, I'm a baby) lol. I ate a bagel, cause it's my birthday, so kiss my ass, diet! And as I read through the paper, I got to the horoscopes. I don't remember what the horoscope was for that day but The Post (ya, I read The Post, they gots the good gossip) gives you an extra horoscope on your birthday. This is what my (along with fellow Strong Islander Lindsay Lohan's) bday horoscope was:

Are you kidding me?? Dear horoscope writer, did you write this just for me? Cause wow, I NEEDED to hear that. My whole perspective changed in a moment!! And you wanna know what my dream was when I was little? I wanted to be a singer! And so you know what I'm gonna focus on? That's right...SINGING (you are brillant, dear readers)!! I've been told before that I should be focusing on singing but I guess I just didn't know where I fit in with it. Pop music is a youth game (I lost out on my chance around the tender age of 26, which isn't really that long ago (I might add lol) and I don't have the belt that they want for Broadway. But I do have a voice and its a damn good one. So even though I don't know where I fit in, I will sing and I will see where that takes me, because singing (and music) brings me joy!!

What did you want to be when you were little? What did you love? What DO you love? Figure it out and then DO IT!!! Even if it's for just a moment, or as a hobby, just do it!! Joy is an amazing thing, and joy brings more joy. Who knows where your joy will take you! Wherever it is, I hope it is magical!!