Monday, September 26, 2011

À la prochaine Paris...

Until next time!

Well, we bid Paris adieu on Monday morning and when I sat down at my computer in my hotel room in Evry (which is a tiny suburb of Paris, where we are doing one show tonight), I came across a quote. Truth be told, the quote may or may not have been on my phone in the form of a text message from a horoscope site that I may or may not subscribe to (it's free). And it may or may not have been from a few days ago and I never saw it. But whatever it may or may not be, I loved it immediately: "Just because there's a wall in front of you doesn't mean that your journey is over!"

So many times we hit a wall (physical or otherwise) and think, 'Well, that's it, I cannot possibly get past it. Might as well go right, or left, or hell, just go back'. But I believe we can push over the wall, if we really want to. Hell, why not just knock the damn thing down. It won't be easy! And it probably won't happen like a bulldozer at one fell swoop, but it can be chipped away, tiny piece by tiny piece. And maybe when you get to the other side, you'll find that it isn't even what you were looking for, but I know I'll be much happier seeing it for myself and deciding that it's not what I want, instead of wondering just what was on the other side of that stupid thing. That's just how I am.

I've hit many a wall on this journey as a performer (let's not even get into the walls I've hit in my personal life) and they've been in all different shapes and sizes. Some walls were about getting a gig, others happened when I've gotten one. I've even hit a few walls while on this amazing tour. That being said, I was just in Paris, hitting walls there hurt a little less...

Sometimes getting over or through the wall is just about staying in the moment. A few of the shows at the Pompidou were really difficult for me. Physically, I didn't feel at my best and my mind was getting the better of me ("you're getting sick", "you're not going to be able to do this", "you're gonna have to go home") but I had to try and shut that talk off and remember where I was in the moment. I needed to be with the 11 other people I was on stage with and the people in those seats. Now, I'm not superwoman, I didn't stay present in every second, but I fought and I got through it. I got over a wall.

And lets face it, there were times in my life where I hit a rough patch in my career and could've turned back. It would have been much easier than going forward, but if I did, I wouldn't be here. And it is a pretty awesome place to be right now...

I don't know a whole lot about a whole lot, but I know that I'm gonna keep hitting walls on this journey, and so are you, but I'd like to see what's on the other side. It might be pretty nice...

You bet your sweet tooth that that is my dessert! I'm assuming a detox will be in order sometime mid-October. :)

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Ahhh, Geneve

FALL TOUR BLOG: Geneva I figured I'd do some small blog updates from tour (when I can), so just to preface them, these won't be very profound or soul searching (or very grammatically correct) entries, but I hope you like 'em anyway!

Well week one of the our "Neutral Hero" Fall Tour has come to an end. It's interesting getting back into the swing of things. It should feel like picking up where we left off but it somehow doesn't. There's almost a rebooting of things. And it has actually taken me about 4 days to realize that I'm on tour again and to feel comfortable in it. If you don't really know me, you won't know that I have some 'issues' with change (so it usually takes a few days in a new city to adjust). I know that it is imperative to have change, in fact it is probably the best thing for us, but I like comfort and change doesn't usually have a lot of that (until the change becomes part of us)!

Another reason I think I felt a bit out of sorts is because the group of people I usually spent the most time with last tour (we call ourselves 'The Supper Club', for obvious reasons) were staying in an apartment building about 10 minutes away. Their place was right on the river (not exactly right here but this a lovely pic of the river)...

One of my main goals for this tour was to be in the moment (which is really hard, both on stage and off) and I'm not sure I succeeded, as I felt like I was constantly looking forward to Paris while in Geneva, but each day is another day with many more moments to cherish.

All that said, it feels fantastic to be doing this show again with this groups of people. It is such a special piece, and I get more and more from it each time we perform it. I really hope we get to bring it to NY and share it with you, but right now this moment is in Paris...Oui, Oui! :)