I got some good news this week. YAY! :) So why do I fee like the end of the world is at hand? :( Perhaps its because I’m CRAZY! Yep, I think that’s the answer, lol. See the One-Act play I wrote in January was accepted to the festival to be performed in March. You think I would be over the moon excited about it and a part of me is. It feels great to have written something and have someone think that it was good enough to be seen by real people (who aren't related to me) lol. But I am out of my mind scared and anxious about it. I know nerves are good most of the time because it shows that you care. And I care, a lot! I want this play to be amazing! It’s a great opportunity to have my work as a writer and actress be seen by people who can help me get future work.
However, I’m also extremely nervous because this is the first time I’m doing more than acting. Usually, I get a role and I work on it. I learn my lines, show up and do my best. Now I guess I’m the producer too (you think I would enjoy this since I'm kinda a control freak and yet I don't). I have to schedule rehearsals, get a director, make sure we have enough time to get done what needs to be done, get costumes and props, plus learn my lines and be an actress (what did I get myself into?). I’m not gonna lie…I’m OVERWHELMED!!! I'm having crazy anxiety dreams already and we haven't had a single rehearsal yet!
I don’t know why I’m so afraid of this. I guess I’m fearful of failing but if I’ve learned anything from writing this blog and putting it out there, its that the only failure there is, is not trying (thanks Kelley Lynn for that comment). FEAR can be paralyzing and I’m gonna have to fight my way through it everyday! But I also know that what can feel like the scariest thing, can also be the best thing for you. So I’m gonna work my butt off and get this thing done. Don’t know how, but I’ll do it!! I refuse to let my anxiety get the best of me. I’ve worked too hard to get here to turn back now. Honestly, I could also use all your good vibes and support as well. And I want to thank my dear friend Joe Iozzi for accepting the male role in the play. It means so much that I can count on him (especially since I have no money and can’t pay him, sorry)! Love ya!
I'll leave you on this note. I read something over the weekend and I decided that I’m gonna read every day, and somehow I will make myself believe it! I don’t officially know who wrote it. I looked it up online and two names came up: C. W. Longenecker as well as Walter D Wintle. However, I think its true and I think it will help…
“If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but think you can’t.
It is almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will—
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”
I think I CAN! I hope you think you CAN too!
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