Sunday, July 24, 2011

My life in shelves...


Packed! Cluttered! Disorganized! Messy!

I recently came to the realization that I don't finish everything I start (okay fine, it's not a recent revelation, and if I'm being honest, it's probably more like I don't 'finish' the majority of the things I start). Case in point, this little blog. Last entry before this one? That would be Thanksgiving 2010. Wow, way to give it my all, right?!

Not convinced? Okay, I'm currently reading at least five books. I keep going to the next one thinking it'll be better than the one I'm reading at the moment (could this be a window into my psychology??? Hmm.)

Wanna take a guess on how many of these books and plays on my bookshelf that I've actually read? Or how many I've actually finished once I started? Not a good percentage I'm sure. Sometimes I think I start things because I think it's gonna make this huge transformation in my life and when it doesn't happen immediately (or easily) I'm on to the next thing. There was the time when I was going to make jewelry and sell it online. Or the time I decided I'd earn extra money making greeting cards (you should have seen the glitter on my floor). I've spent a big majority of my money (and accumulated debt), not to mention the amount of time, on things I wanted to do and never finished.

How about the guitar lessons I started to take and well, you guessed it, never finished? Sure I can play a few songs and even sing along, but that's only because most pop songs have 4 chords in them and if I sing loud enough, I can kinda fake 'em. P.S. I have three guitars. That's right THREE and I can't play any one of them proficiently. So now this summer I got a ukulele because I think it will be awesome to play. And how many times have I played it so far? Oh maybe, twice, but for the record, I haven't given up on this one, so there is still hope! :)

Yeah, it's true, I don't finish everything I start, but I also don't give up on things that I truly want! Oh, there have been more than a few hiccups and doubts along the way, but I'm NOT not finishing this. I can't. And what exactly is finishing anyway? Isn't finishing the end? Do we really want that? Isn't it the process that we learn from? I think this blog post is a reminder to me that the things that are most important to us are the things we will stick to no matter how much work there is to do (or how many obstacles we face). We can never truly finish...we just continue on and learn from our missteps. I'm not a quitter on myself and you shouldn't be one on you either. There's something in all of us that we truly want and we it owe it to ourselves, and others, to go get it! And hell, those books will still be there for me when I want to finish them, but right now I'm a little busy with some other things.

And here's the little guy:

He's cute, isn't he?! I'll keep you posted on our progress but in the meantime, just to prove to myself that I can let go of some of my perfectionism, I'm uploading a recording I made on my ipod the first night I played it. Lord knows it's bad, embarrassing even, but its a work in progress, just like me:

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